So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You've changed since you got that strap on
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
