We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize