Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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