I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
