New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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