She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
