Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I want a musical about memes.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize