the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
