if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
there is puke in my bra ... again
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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