Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Let's get the cat blown out
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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