I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
