You can't special order awesome
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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