It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
