tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
