you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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