Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
