there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
