bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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