That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
