I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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