he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
