barbara walters just said penis...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
