you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
