guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
