laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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