Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
