we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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