I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
