I want to make a zoo with you.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
