now i know why i became what i already was.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
