i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize