what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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