I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
