yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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