WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
