fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
