Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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