he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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