Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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