just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I stole a fireplace last night.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize