i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
