Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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