Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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