So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
