I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
do herpes really smell.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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