just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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