I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
