May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You are the jesus of drinking
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
