You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
