Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
