i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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