Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm both gender and math confused
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
