We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
