It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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