Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Mom said you looked used
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
