I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
