We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
