fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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