woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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