Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
