whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize